What a year.

And we're only 6 months in.

I’ve been blissfully, frustratingly, absent from here. Sorry. I’ll do better.

I love that I get to have an audience on here, curious about writing, my writing, the process, any process. Every process.

Recently, I’ve learned a few things about how I handle things (that may or may not help anyone reading this). It’s pretty simple and not revolutionary, but I’ll share it nonetheless.

-It’s not your job to fix someone else’s [insert problem/insecurity/personal issue/politics].

I say that as someone who is constantly trying to fix people’s perceptions of me. A type of Type A People Pleaser, I guess. Why do I care? Why does it matter? I have no idea. That’s just who I am and I have to navigate how I handle things.

Recently, I’ve been signing off on more projects than I’ve ever had in my career, and I love it so much, but part of me wants to make sure that all these people are happy. Why? Because that’s part of how I value myself: I grew up wanting to prove to people that I’m good, I work hard, I can be whoever they want me to be.

And, well, that’s a recipe for a breakdown, a crappy self-perception, and sleepless nights (all of which I’ve struggled with for years).

Recently, I told myself to get a grip. Literally. In the woods, walking my dog. Get a grip. Who are you, I said. Out loud. My dog was concerned. I listed, in my head, all the things that I’ve worked ridiculously hard to achieve: self-publishing, a book deal, best selling novels, translation work for important news from Ukraine, coaching people on how to deliver their projects in the way they need, coaching people on the publishing industry, making friends of agents and editors and industry veterans, being there for people when they need me. Being a good wife, mother, daughter, friend.

And then I realized that if I let any person crap on that list, then that’s on me. My fault for letting them take from me like the (mostly well-meaning) vampires they are. People don’t know what they can take unless you let them take it. And taking ownership of that as a highly creative, empathetic and industrious person is… well… liberating as all get out.

Let yourself breathe. Take stock of what you need to fix and what you want to. The two are very different.

I’ll try better on here now that I’m remembering how to write because I love it, not because someone needs me to. I want to. It feels good. Everything else is just noise.